Self-Esteem, part 4
The last thing (for now) that I want to talk about regarding self-esteem may seem odd. The word is forgiveness.
I once worked at a very toxic place – not physically toxic, but emotionally so. To describe a complex situation simply, I had stepped on the toes of a coworker – through ignorance, not malice – who then proceeded to spread poison about me all through the organization. I was not the first person she had done this to – nor the last – but she was very thorough in my case. People were afraid to do anything to cross her. I refused to play that game and ended up being treated like dirt by everyone. Do I sound like I was playing the victim role? You bet.
I finally left that place, pretty damaged emotionally. I tried to forgive them, because as a Christian I knew I was supposed to. Still every time I thought about those people, I got angry all over again. This is a truth about forgiveness – it often must be done more than once. It is not easy!
Then I heard a speaker say something that clicked with me, and I was able to really forgive those who had hurt me. Now when I think of that time I am sad, not angry.
What surprised me though, is that only after I forgave them was I able to understand how I had contributed to the problem, how I had widened the rift, and the things I had done that hadn’t helped the situation. I had to ask for forgiveness for myself as well.
Getting out from under those negative emotions freed me in so many ways. It freed me from the victim role. It freed me to grow into my true self. It freed me to look at reality clearly, not through the lens of self-pity or anger. I know myself much better now. I am gentler with other people now. In short, my self-esteem is stronger and less likely to be damaged by other people’s opinions of me.
Forgiveness is a key that can unlock a prison cell. Don’t let other people hold you captive by their opinion of your worth. Forgive them, and move on. Only then can you truly blossom into the beautiful person you are meant to be.
